Platitudes don’t soften the blow of a cancer diagnosis, says Jennifer Selway

The King has cancer and immediately everyone reached for the same comforting platitudes – as we do when a loved one receives this shocking diagnosis. It was caught early, we armchair oncologists tell each other sagely, so the outlook is so much better.

The King, who skips lunch and eats organic food, leads a very healthy lifestyle. That must help, mustn’t it? Even better, he is being “wholly positive” and we tell each other that having the right mindset is a good thing.

These days many, many people make a full recovery from cancer and go on to lead long, busy lives.

Royal watchers say Charles is in “very good form”. Camilla has shown herself to be an absolute brick – brisk, sensible, supportive.

What’s more, the patient was said to look “healthy” when he set off from Clarence House on his way to Sandringham. That reminded me of how I idiotically told my dear friend who had stage four cancer that she looked “great” when we met for one of her last ever evenings out.

She gave what can only be described as a hollow laugh.

We have been told many times over the past few days that Charles will continue to read his red boxes even if he doesn’t take part in “public-facing duties”.

And other members of the Royal Family who are not Andrew or Harry will step in to fill the breach.

So, nothing will change.

Except that it will. The King has been King for less than 18 months and for a while it looked as though the transition from Elizabeth II’s long reign was going very smoothly.

Looking back it is extraordinary how – for decades – we took her health and energy for granted, even when she was elderly. And her son had looked set for a good innings (those Windsors live long) and let’s hope that is what happens.

But we all now suspect that he may never be quite as vigorous and pro-active as he would have hoped.

Something has shifted and he is not a young man. It is a reminder that there are no certainties in life.

Though extreme wealth does cushion you from ill health and what the medical profession calls “poor outcomes’, cancer really is the great leveller. It scares us because it represents our bodies turning upon us. We anticipate the treatment will be brutal and that for the rest of our lives we’ll worry about it returning.

Happily, it is true that people don’t talk about cancer in discreet whispers any longer. But a cancer diagnosis is still terrifying and the shock that greeted the King’s announcement reminds us of that.